Mr. Popper’s Penguins
"Should I take the kids to see Mr. Popper's Penguins, or should I just go ahead and kill myself?" I'm being completely honest - that's...
Shrek Forever After
I felt so uncomfortable watching the beginning of this film with my kids...what if they knew that I feel like Shrek sometimes? As far as...
Sharktopus
Sharktopus is not picky. Sharktopus will eat sharks, old boat painters, bungee jumpers, surfer dudes, Volkswagens...Sharktopus is nasty! Sharktopus just doesn't give a fuck. Sharktopus...
The Boondock Saints
I was riveted before the credits started. Fucking shit, how did I not see this when it came out? Or at least any time in...
Diary of the Dead
I was starting to get bored until the Dynamite-tossing Amish guy showed up. Even then, it was still boring in between zombie attacks - probably...
Texas Frightmare Massacre
How does Parrish Randall know what dog vagina tastes like? I guess there are just some questions that I'll never know the answer to...although, I...
City of Ember
So...fucking...BORING. I take that back, it was mainly the first half that was ridiculously boring - say, everything up until the RoUS attacks. (A giant...
Baby Mama
It's not uncommon for me to think a movie sucks...in fact, most of the movies that I watch these days do suck a great deal....
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
There are not even any mummies in this film! Sure, they CALL them mummies, but they're not really mummies -they're Terra Cotta Warriors, like the...
Scooby-Doo
The latest movie that my children have become addicted to...may well turn them into potheads. The Luna Ghost looks like the Graffix logo. The scene...