Cry-Baby
Sublime parody of Jailhouse Rock. Johnny Depp is Wade 'Cry-Baby' Walker, orphan without a cause. He falls in love with Allison, a good girl who...
Hackers
Hack with a Mac? I did't think so. For the past 6 years, I had been boycotting this film, soley based on that fact. But...
Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills
Morbid, terrifying, WRONG. This is the first documentary that I have ever reviewed - and I review it not from an entertainment standpoint, because this...
Dune
I have finally seen Dune in its entirety now, I can no longer use it as an excuse to opt-out on those long and sticky...
Shrek
I should have seen this sooner. So I go to Lubbock for a couple days to visit Eringoddess, and we run out of things to...
Sucker: The Vampire
When I was in 11th grade, I was in a class, either World History or Sociology - I don't remember which, that required me to...
What Planet Are You From?
I don't think that I would mind a humming penis. Mike Nichols is traditionally a purveyor of mediocre 'American' films - after The Graduate, where...
Legend of the Chupacabra
This is the first film that I have ever reviewed that is not even in the IMDB. They have 600 Ron Jeremy pornos listed, but...
Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.
From TROMA, of course. Sgt. Kabukiman fights crime with a supersonic fan, chopsticks of death, killer sushi and of course, a big fucking sword. The...
Pitch Black
Another Alien remake. Not that it's such a bad thing. It's pretty hard to avoid Alien comparisons, no matter what the Aliens look like, what...