Machete
This is a hard review to write. I wanted so much to love Machete. I would have been content with liking Machete, but mostly I...
Toy Story 3
The first time I saw Toy Story 3, I totally started crying when Andy finally handed Woody over to Bonnie. Even now, roughly 537 viewings...
Black Devil Doll
I've always had a soft spot for tiny killers, especially killer dolls. I also have a soft spot for complete filth...so is it any wonder...
Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives
I DVRed this film based on the title alone. Be warned...it could really confuse the other people in your house when they're scrolling through the...
Stan Helsing
Jason, Freddy, Pinhead, Chucky, Leatherface and Michael in a movie together? It's like a horror fan's wet dream, right? Not so fast...it's not really Jason,...
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Oh, Tim Burton, you're like a tampon...when you do your job well, I love you...but when you fuck up, I hate you and I swear...
Return to Oz
There are few things scarier to a child than forced medical procedures - anything that requires being strapped down is bad, bad news. Even before...
Piñata: Survival Island
Does it surprise you at ALL that I would watch a movie about a killer piñata? If you are even the least bit surprised, then...
The Karate Dog
So this isn't the long lost sequel to The Karate Kid movies? Pat Morita taught his dog karate...but that's where the similarity ends. No Mr....
Princess of Mars
I doubt that this is the first time that Traci Lords has sprayed someone with her piss on film. It was a cheap shot, I'm...