Computer Animation

24
Feb
2015

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Posted by knobbygirl

Even though it's only February, I'm going to go ahead and call it - Sponge Out of Water is the most terrifying film of the year. Why? It has a fucking talking dolphin in it.

I fucking hate dolphins. They are the Bill Cosby of the ocean world, trying to lure unwitting swimmers into their underwater rape caves. Dolphins have NO business in a children's film. It's a small consolation that the hellspawn dolphin appears to have been voiced by Tim Curry, although I could be wrong.

15
Mar
2014

The Lego Movie

Posted by knobbygirl

Everything is awesome!

Actually...the only thing about The Lego Movie that's not awesome is the song, "Everything is Awesome" - because that song has been stuck in my head for weeks on end. It's the only thing I hear. Maybe I shouldn't have switched my ringtone from "What Does the Fox Say?" to "Everything is Awesome"? Maybe it's my own fucking fault?

22
Jun
2012

Gnomeo & Juliet

Posted by knobbygirl

You may not know this, but my backyard is full of garden gnomes. The pink flamingos are packed away in the garage, as the evil HOA guidelines specifically prohibits plastic lawn ornaments. But there's also a gargoyle on the birdbath and a three foot tall lady statue. Needless to say, if all the statues in my backyard came to life at night, I would shit my pants.

08
Dec
2011

Toy Story 3

Posted by knobbygirl

The first time I saw Toy Story 3, I totally started crying when Andy finally handed Woody over to Bonnie. Even now, roughly 537 viewings later, I still get all weepy at the end...so weepy that I get paranoid that I need to take a pregnancy test or something.

04
Aug
2011

Rango

Posted by knobbygirl

Drugs. Watching Rango made me feel like I was on a large quantity of psychedelic drugs.

16
Jul
2011

Shrek Forever After

Posted by knobbygirl

I felt so uncomfortable watching the beginning of this film with my kids...what if they knew that I feel like Shrek sometimes?

As far as I know, my son is no junior psychotherapist...he didn't pick up any tension as I squirmed in my seat, commiserating with Shrek's plight. What parent doesn't reminisce about how cool they were before they had kids? Before responsibility, before potty training and homework, before mortgages and swimming lessons and time outs and smoochies...can't forget about the slobbery, wet booger smoochies.

16
May
2011

Toy Story

Posted by knobbygirl

Can you believe that I have never seen Toy Story before now?

You CAN'T believe it? You think I'm fucking lying? Why would I lie about that? What do I have to gain by admitting that I hadn't seen the single, most important piece of Computer Animation until 15 years after its initial release? Well...FUUUUUUUUUCK you!

No review for you...I'm out of here.

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