Based on a True Story...I LOVE "Based on a True Story." I love bullshit and nothing is more bullshit than "Based on a True Story." (Technically, the film opened with "this story is inspired by true events" - but that's pretty much the same thing.)
How does Parrish Randall know what dog vagina tastes like?
I guess there are just some questions that I'll never know the answer to...although, I bet I could ask my 3 year old, because she won't stop letting the dog lick her open mouth, no matter how much I scream at her. I guess I could try screaming at the dog, I don't know what is more futile - screaming at a three year old human or a three year old dog.
It took almost a year, but I finally got around to watching the other half of Grindhouse...Death Proof. I'd watched Planet Terror almost a year ago, during my maternity leave movie marathon, but I had never gotten around to Death Proof until now.
Edgar Wright does for Policemen what Edgar Wright did for zombies.
Simon Pegg does a complete 180 from his role in Shaun of the Dead in Hot Fuzz as Nick Angel. He's a lean, mean law-enforcing machine. In fact, he's such a good cop that he makes the rest of the department look bad - so he's shipped off to a sleepy little village in the English countryside as a "reward." Little does he know that the village is not as sleepy as it seems. Townspeople have been dropping like flies in bizarre accidents and Nick Angel WILL get to the bottom of it!
Any film that involves the psychological torture of a member of New Kids on the Block is ACES in my book. Add to that the fact that one of the little bitches from 7th Heaven is being slowly poisoned and coughing up blood...you've got a horror film guaranteed to satisfy.
While I appreciate the idea of supermodels having toxic booty gas, nappy underarm hair and hidden penises, it's just not enough to base a movie on.
The world's five top supermodels travel to a remote tropical island for a photo shoot, where they get picked off by a serial killer. Is it the annoyingly perky magazine editor? Is it one of the Siegfried and Roy-esque fashion photographers? Or could it be one of the remaining models, secretly harboring a hidden agenda?
Recent disappointments in mind, I was quite surprised to find that not only did House of 1000 Corpses indeed feature a house, but also included approximately 1,000 corpses.
Now that Saw III is in the theater, I figure I might as well watch the first one.
Number one reason to watch Saw - Cary Elwes. I used to have such a crush on him in Junior High/High School. He was Westley, for chrissakes! I watched Hot Shots! and Robin Hood: Men in Tights in the theater, just to see him. He was even hot in recent movies, like Shadow of the Vampire...but now his age seems to have caught up with him and he's got that middle age bloated thing going on. I don't care, he's still kind of hot. At least he's not gross like Val Kilmer.
I know you are, but what am I?
It was an interesting experience to see Francis (Pee Wee's Big Adventure) burying teenage boys in his crawlspace instead of stealing bikes. Mark Holton has evolved from playing Pee Wee Herman's nemesis to playing a real life serial killer - John Wayne Gacy. Although I began watching cynically expecting the worst, I've got to admit that my expectations were too low. Holton put in an admirable performance as the man who buried 29 men and boys underneath his Chicago home.