I never thought I would see the day where I was reviewing a film starring Ron Jeremy's penis.*

Finally, the not so greatly anticipated sequel to The Lost Boys makes its basic cable debut!

They really didn't need to do a lot to make Jenna Jameson look like a zombie, did they?

For the longest time, I thought this film was about vampires.

It took almost a year, but I finally got around to watching the other half of Grindhouse...Death Proof. I'd watched Planet Terror almost a year ago, during my maternity leave movie marathon, but I had never gotten around to Death Proof until now.

Every once in a while, my husband will surprise me by DVRing horrible films for me to review. With a title like 'Vegas Vampires,' there's no way he could pass this one up - it had to be total shit. In fact, it's so shitty that I had to narrow it down to a top ten list.

10. The Title - how lazy can you get?

9. The Musical Cameo (K-Ci and Jo Jo) - they must have needed to fill screen time. There were a bunch of other rappers, too.

8. The Ugly Fat Baldwin Brother from Celebrity Rehab.

7. Only one scene with boobies - and it was 53 minutes into the fucking film.

You'd think that with a title like 'Zombie Honeymoon,' you'd be watching a comedy...

Although it is generally agreed upon that either Plan 9 From Outer Space or Manos: The Hands of Fate is the worst movie ever made, every once in a while - this piece of shit is mentioned. In the future, one of the people mentioning it may be me.

The problem with this film isn't that it's bad - although it IS bad - it's that it's boring. It's a film about a zombie that kills strippers...strippers that don't ever get naked, so technically I guess they're burlesque dancers. The zombies aren't even the dead kind - they're the mind controlled kind. Again, BORING!

It's been so long that I had forgotten what it's like. I actually got out of the house last weekend and got to attend the Houston Premiere of Poultrygeist at the Alamo Drafthouse!

Poultrygeist is a love story, wrapped inside of a horror movie, tucked inside of a musical. That's right, it's a musical! The songs are catchy and are guaranteed to get stuck in your head. They're almost as good as Cannibal! The Musical. I've had "Fast Food Love" stuck in my head for a couple of days.

Not what I expected from the writer of Tromeo and Juliet.