Horror

17
Aug
2011

Amityville II: The Possession

Posted by lobsterphone

One of the stupidest movies ever. The film makers tried to combine the best of movies like the first Amityville with movies like the The Exorcist. What they did was combine fail with fail. Do you remember in Greatest American Hero when Mr Hinkley got his remedial English class to stage Romeo and Juliet? Their acting is like the acting in this movie. Any scene with interaction or dialogue is like watching Mr. H's English class rehearse their lines. The problem is, the acting is the best thing about this movie.

13
Jun
2011

Texas Frightmare Massacre

Posted by knobbygirl

How does Parrish Randall know what dog vagina tastes like?

I guess there are just some questions that I'll never know the answer to...although, I bet I could ask my 3 year old, because she won't stop letting the dog lick her open mouth, no matter how much I scream at her. I guess I could try screaming at the dog, I don't know what is more futile - screaming at a three year old human or a three year old dog.

12
Mar
2011

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Posted by knobbygirl

If you had asked me back in 6th grade who would win in a catfight, I totally would have picked Tiffany over Debbie Gibson. I never thought the day would actually come when I would get to SEE a Tiffany/Debbie Gibson catfight...complete with them smearing cake all over each other's breasts...

09
Jan
2011

Dinocroc vs. Supergator

Posted by knobbygirl

So which one is Dinocroc and which one is Supergator?

More than a little condescendingly, my husband explained that Dinocroc is the one that walks on its hind legs. I guess I missed out on crucial monster identification plot points by not watching the original Dinocroc and Supergator movies.

13
Dec
2010

My Name is Bruce

Posted by knobbygirl

Bruce Campbell's love letter to his fans really delivers.

Campbell directs himself in this film, playing a character parody of himself. Confused? Don't be, because the concept actually makes sense. An alcoholic womanizing asshole Bruce Campbell is so much more fun to watch than what I assume the 'real' Bruce Campbell us like...a normal guy with a kickass job.

15
Jun
2010

Mongolian Death Worm

Posted by knobbygirl

What is the Mongolian Death Worm? A parasite you might catch from a hooker in Ulan Bator? A new sushi roll at Todai? The title of Dethklok's newest album? A pet name for my husband's penis? Maybe a new ride at Six Flags? A brand new SyFy Original Movie, starring Young Indiana Jones?

There are actually two correct answers...I'll let you figure out which two.

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