The first five minutes was the best...Apolo Anton Ohno basejumps in New Zealand, falls into a hole and is impaled on a stalagmite that looks suspiciously like a Judas Cradle. It looked slightly less painful and embarrassing than appearing on Dancing with the Stars.
WARNING - teenagers dry humping in the forest can summon demons.
That's right...those poor teenagers didn't even get to have sex. They barely got to second base and things went to shit.
Not enough farts. Definitely needed more farts.
Just kidding, there were plenty of farts in The Haunted Trailer - farts in practically every scene. I love farts. My best friend also loves farts. (When we get together with some Burger King Onion Rings...watch out!) My eight year old son loves farts, probably because he is eight years old, but also because he is my son. Really, who DOESN'T love farts? If you say you don't love farts, you're LYING. Farts make the world go around.
As the end credits rolled, I stood up and surveyed the emptying theater and said, "What the fuck?" Then my husband said "What the fuck?" And my best friend said "What the fuck?" And her man said "Yeah, what the fuck?"
We had a difficult decision tonight...Zombies Vs. Strippers or The Tale of the Voodoo Prostitute. I know...how on earth did we choose?
Zombies Vs. Strippers is about a zombie invasion in a strip club, not to be confused with Zombie Strippers, a movie in which the strippers are actual zombies. Other than that, the films are pretty similar...titties and zombies, zombies and titties.
Of course, everyone knows that the world is ending in a few short days...on December 21, 2012. How do we know that it is ending? Because that's when the Mayan Calendar supposedly ends, so of course, that must be the absolute end of the world...as opposed to when they basically just ran out of room on their stone tablet. (In any case, if the Mayans were so good at predicting the future, how did they not see the Spaniards coming? Riddle me that, Batman!)
I saw this movie so long ago, I don't even know where to start. Alice Cooper gets killed by Bigfoot. That's pretty much all you need to know about this movie to make you want to watch it. (That's not a spoiler - it was in the commercial.)
We didn't intend to watch this movie. I was scrolling through the guide one Saturday night, looking for something to watch and I paused on Rubber long enough to read the description. (Killer tire? Seriously?) The picture-in-picture indeed showed a tire rolling through the desert, so I clicked over, curiosity killed the cat...