I wanted to hate Wonder Woman. Everyone has unanimously loved this movie, so that ugly little bit of 20-something year old, still deep down inside of ME wanted to find something to hate about this movie. To be contrary, to be different...I couldn't do it. Wonder Woman is every bit as thrilling and enjoyable as the general public says it is. And I'm okay with that. It took me 40+ years, but I have found peace in agreeing with the rest of the planet. I can't even be mad about it - I've loved Wonder Woman for so, so long.
Since Suicide Squad debuted on HBO this past Saturday, so we had a family movie night and watched the whole thing while eating Marie Callender pot pies. Jealous?
Now my daughter wants us to dress up as the Suicide Squad for Halloween...and she wants to be Enchantress. I'm only saying no because that would mean that I would have to be Harley Quinn, and we saw enough fatties dressed as slutty clowns last Halloween.
While I agree with Jean Grey that the third one's always the worst, X-Men: Apocalypse isn't a bad movie. It merely suffers in that it wasn't as good as the first two. (I think we can all agree that Last Stand was much stinkier than Apocalypse ever dreamt of being.)
So, "Teen Dystopia" is its own genre now? Back when I was a teen, I was quite sure that "the man" was out to get me...by stamping out all free thought, individuality and creativity. Turns out, it was just my mom. I kid, I kid - she likely wasn't any worse than any other mother in the 90s. But that's the thing. Most (American) teenagers feel oppressed by school, home, work, society...by someone. (I parenthesize American because that's what I know...I'd like to assume that aboriginal teens are just as over dramatic, but...)
As the opening credits rolled, I couldn't stop laughing. Maggie and Negan as Bruce Wayne's parents was so stinking cute! My husband just rolled his eyes...he doesn't watch The Walking Dead.
I was a bit worried that not seeing Man of Steel would be a problem as I sat down to watch Batman v Superman, but it actually kind of helped. The film starts off with the events of Man of Steel from Bruce Wayne's point of view. "I don't care if you saved the whole goddamn planet, Superman - you knocked down my fucking building!"
It's been like a zillion years since we've had a family movie night...I guess technically, it wasn't really a family movie night, since Lily wanted nothing to do with Ant-Man, instead barricading herself under her bed with Netflix and my cat.
If two heads are better than one, are three heads better than two?
So...the 3 Headed Shark is angered by ocean pollution, but it eats the sea garbage, which drives it insane and it starts attacking. This movie makes no fucking sense. It is also somehow a sequel to 2 Headed Shark Attack, but HOW??? There are none of the same characters and no relationship is implied between the 2 Headed and 3 Headed Sharks. I need continuity, dammit!
You know, if Mark Cuban ran for president, I'd probably vote for him. Sure, he's as big a dick as Trump, but he hasn't filed for bankruptcy half a dozen times. That being said, I'd probably vote for David Hasselhoff before any of the assholes we have running right now.
Kolossus is Cold War era robot weapon, powered by red mercury. Why does Kolossus look like it's made out of meat? It's like when you lift the flap on the back of the box of bacon to check out the slices...What a coincidence that this giant robot happened to be released near Chernobyl at the exact time that Mega Shark needs a good ass kicking?
I'll spare you the lame jokes about how this summer's crop of blockbusters is a throwback to the 90s - dinosaurs, terminators and vacations, oh my! (OK, maybe just one...)