Action

14
Jul
2017

Wonder Woman

Posted by knobbygirl

I wanted to hate Wonder Woman. Everyone has unanimously loved this movie, so that ugly little bit of 20-something year old, still deep down inside of ME wanted to find something to hate about this movie. To be contrary, to be different...I couldn't do it. Wonder Woman is every bit as thrilling and enjoyable as the general public says it is. And I'm okay with that. It took me 40+ years, but I have found peace in agreeing with the rest of the planet. I can't even be mad about it - I've loved Wonder Woman for so, so long.

17
Apr
2017

Suicide Squad

Posted by knobbygirl

Since Suicide Squad debuted on HBO this past Saturday, so we had a family movie night and watched the whole thing while eating Marie Callender pot pies. Jealous?

Now my daughter wants us to dress up as the Suicide Squad for Halloween...and she wants to be Enchantress. I'm only saying no because that would mean that I would have to be Harley Quinn, and we saw enough fatties dressed as slutty clowns last Halloween.

08
Mar
2017

X-Men: Apocalypse

Posted by knobbygirl

While I agree with Jean Grey that the third one's always the worst, X-Men: Apocalypse isn't a bad movie. It merely suffers in that it wasn't as good as the first two. (I think we can all agree that Last Stand was much stinkier than Apocalypse ever dreamt of being.)

28
Dec
2016

Divergent

Posted by knobbygirl

So, "Teen Dystopia" is its own genre now? Back when I was a teen, I was quite sure that "the man" was out to get me...by stamping out all free thought, individuality and creativity. Turns out, it was just my mom. I kid, I kid - she likely wasn't any worse than any other mother in the 90s. But that's the thing. Most (American) teenagers feel oppressed by school, home, work, society...by someone. (I parenthesize American because that's what I know...I'd like to assume that aboriginal teens are just as over dramatic, but...)

10
Dec
2016

Batman v Superman: The Dawn of Justice

Posted by knobbygirl

As the opening credits rolled, I couldn't stop laughing. Maggie and Negan as Bruce Wayne's parents was so stinking cute! My husband just rolled his eyes...he doesn't watch The Walking Dead.

I was a bit worried that not seeing Man of Steel would be a problem as I sat down to watch Batman v Superman, but it actually kind of helped. The film starts off with the events of Man of Steel from Bruce Wayne's point of view. "I don't care if you saved the whole goddamn planet, Superman - you knocked down my fucking building!"

25
Apr
2016

Ant-Man

Posted by knobbygirl

It's been like a zillion years since we've had a family movie night...I guess technically, it wasn't really a family movie night, since Lily wanted nothing to do with Ant-Man, instead barricading herself under her bed with Netflix and my cat.

01
Aug
2015

3 Headed Shark Attack

Posted by knobbygirl

If two heads are better than one, are three heads better than two?

So...the 3 Headed Shark is angered by ocean pollution, but it eats the sea garbage, which drives it insane and it starts attacking. This movie makes no fucking sense. It is also somehow a sequel to 2 Headed Shark Attack, but HOW??? There are none of the same characters and no relationship is implied between the 2 Headed and 3 Headed Sharks. I need continuity, dammit!

22
Jul
2015

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus

Posted by knobbygirl

First the Mega Shark fought a Giant Octopus. Then there was the Crocosaurus. Next, the Mecha Shark. And now...Kolossus.

Kolossus is Cold War era robot weapon, powered by red mercury. Why does Kolossus look like it's made out of meat? It's like when you lift the flap on the back of the box of bacon to check out the slices...What a coincidence that this giant robot happened to be released near Chernobyl at the exact time that Mega Shark needs a good ass kicking?

21
Jul
2015

Jurassic World

Posted by knobbygirl

I'll spare you the lame jokes about how this summer's crop of blockbusters is a throwback to the 90s - dinosaurs, terminators and vacations, oh my! (OK, maybe just one...)

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