Yet another film starring Kate Beckinsale in a corset, fighting vampires and werewolves and various hybrids of the two. Even though it's the sequel to Underworld, it had enough in common with Van Helsing to confuse the hell out of me and make me have to think real hard about what had happened in the previous movie and who the characters were.
Starring Alyssa Milano's boobages.
Although I rented Ghoulies II shortly after it came out on video, absolutely the only thing I remember about it was the scene in which a guy sits down on the john and a Ghoulie pops out and presumably munches on his dangling genitalia.
Almost 20 years later, that's still the only thing memorable about this movie.
You know what's even scarier than running zombies? Thinking zombies!
George Romero kicks his zombies up a notch by having them learn to think and communicate with one another. Led by "Big Daddy" - an especially angry looking gas station attendant zombie - the living dead stop staring at fireworks and mount an attack on a human fortress previously believed to be protected on three sides by water. Ha - water is no protection against zombies - they don't need oxygen!
If I ran into Jaime Pressly in a dark alley, I would slowly back away until I felt it was safe to run. As soon as it was safe, I'd haul ass, move to another country and change my name.
Jaime Pressly stars in the third Poison Ivy Movie as Violet, the sister of Drew Barrymore's character, Ivy, from the first film. Violet makes Ivy look like fucking Strawberry Shortcake. Violet returns to the Greer household for revenge on the family that fired and evicted her slutty mother years earlier. It seems that skank is a hereditary trait.
Synopsis: Our two heroes are destined for greatness - someday they will be remembered as the creators of modern civilization. A supervillain from the future creates evil robot versions of our heroes and sends them back in time to change the future. The robots kill our heroes, destroy their homes and attempt to rape and kill their fiancÃ©es. Only by outwitting Death himself, are our heroes able to escape the fires of hell and destroy the evil robots that threaten the future of civilization as we know it.
How do a donkey and a dragon have sex? I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around that one. Seriously, I cannot figure it out.
I'm always up for vampire ass-kicking, especially when accompanied by a techno soundtrack.
Would snorting Drano actually kill a person?
We all know that drinking it will - but would snorting it be just as deadly? According to the third installment of the Sleepaway Camp trilogy, snorting drain cleaner seems to be even more deadly than drinking it, as the lady who did the snorting didn't even have time to utter "cornuts" as she slumped dead in her convertible.
A campy film about summer camp. I've always been strangely intrigued by summer camps films, probably because I never went.