Sequel

26
Sep
2006

Ghoulies II

Posted by knobbygirl

Although I rented Ghoulies II shortly after it came out on video, absolutely the only thing I remember about it was the scene in which a guy sits down on the john and a Ghoulie pops out and presumably munches on his dangling genitalia.

Almost 20 years later, that's still the only thing memorable about this movie.

22
Sep
2006

Land of the Dead

Posted by knobbygirl

You know what's even scarier than running zombies? Thinking zombies!

George Romero kicks his zombies up a notch by having them learn to think and communicate with one another. Led by "Big Daddy" - an especially angry looking gas station attendant zombie - the living dead stop staring at fireworks and mount an attack on a human fortress previously believed to be protected on three sides by water. Ha - water is no protection against zombies - they don't need oxygen!

04
Sep
2006

Poison Ivy: The New Seduction

Posted by knobbygirl

If I ran into Jaime Pressly in a dark alley, I would slowly back away until I felt it was safe to run. As soon as it was safe, I'd haul ass, move to another country and change my name.

Jaime Pressly stars in the third Poison Ivy Movie as Violet, the sister of Drew Barrymore's character, Ivy, from the first film. Violet makes Ivy look like fucking Strawberry Shortcake. Violet returns to the Greer household for revenge on the family that fired and evicted her slutty mother years earlier. It seems that skank is a hereditary trait.

03
Sep
2006

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

Posted by knobbygirl

Synopsis: Our two heroes are destined for greatness - someday they will be remembered as the creators of modern civilization. A supervillain from the future creates evil robot versions of our heroes and sends them back in time to change the future. The robots kill our heroes, destroy their homes and attempt to rape and kill their fiancées. Only by outwitting Death himself, are our heroes able to escape the fires of hell and destroy the evil robots that threaten the future of civilization as we know it.

14
Jun
2006

Shrek 2

Posted by knobbygirl

How do a donkey and a dragon have sex? I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around that one. Seriously, I cannot figure it out.

29
Aug
2005

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland

Posted by knobbygirl

Would snorting Drano actually kill a person?

We all know that drinking it will - but would snorting it be just as deadly? According to the third installment of the Sleepaway Camp trilogy, snorting drain cleaner seems to be even more deadly than drinking it, as the lady who did the snorting didn't even have time to utter "cornuts" as she slumped dead in her convertible.

26
Dec
2004

Jason X

Posted by knobbygirl

You know, it's really sad when a movie has to stoop to ripping off the plot of a Leprechaun flick, namely Leprechaun 4: In Space.

Yes, Jason Voorhees is treading on territory that has already been explored by the Leprechaun. How sad is that? Couldn't they come up with anything better than that for Jason's 10th outing?

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