One of the stupidest movies ever. The film makers tried to combine the best of movies like the first Amityville with movies like the The Exorcist. What they did was combine fail with fail. Do you remember in Greatest American Hero when Mr Hinkley got his remedial English class to stage Romeo and Juliet? Their acting is like the acting in this movie. Any scene with interaction or dialogue is like watching Mr. H's English class rehearse their lines. The problem is, the acting is the best thing about this movie.
I felt so uncomfortable watching the beginning of this film with my kids...what if they knew that I feel like Shrek sometimes?
As far as I know, my son is no junior psychotherapist...he didn't pick up any tension as I squirmed in my seat, commiserating with Shrek's plight. What parent doesn't reminisce about how cool they were before they had kids? Before responsibility, before potty training and homework, before mortgages and swimming lessons and time outs and smoochies...can't forget about the slobbery, wet booger smoochies.
There are not even any mummies in this film!
Sure, they CALL them mummies, but they're not really mummies -they're Terra Cotta Warriors, like the ones I saw at the HMNS a few years ago. Why the fuck do they keep calling them mummies? Since when do mummies throw flaming balls of mud? China even has real mummies! So what if they're white people mummies?
I think I am falling in love with Amy Adams.
She's just so cute and likable and earnest and smiley and cute...Did I say cute? She is the celluloid equivalent of a puppy trying to lick ice cream off its nose. I usually abhor cute, but there is something REAL about Amy Adams. I just wish I could stop confusing her with Isla Fisher. I'm still not going to try to sit through Julie & Julia any time soon.
Few things give me nightmares these days, but hearing Alvin the chipmunk tell someone that he's going to eat their liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti sent chills down my spine. He even did that slurpy, tongue flicking thing.
Finally, the not so greatly anticipated sequel to The Lost Boys makes its basic cable debut!
In honor of 4/20, I present to you a film worthy of being watched on 4/20...
In my review of Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, I complain about it being a stoner comedy that is probably only funny when stoned. Some stoner comedies, however, are hilarious no matter what. Harold and Kumar are still funny, no matter what state of consciousness you are in. (They're not as funny escaping from Guantanamo Bay as they are going to White Castle, but still pretty fucking funny nonetheless.)
Three hours of my life that I will never get back. At least I broke it up into an hour apiece on three different days.
I was to understand that there would be some Van Wilder here. Also, punch and pie. No punch, no pie and no Ryan Reynolds. Also notably missing, the 'National Lampoon' stamp of approval...on the bright side, at least there was no Tara Reid.
It's only July and I've already gotten to see a second film in the theater - will wonders ever cease?