I saw this movie so long ago, I don't even know where to start. Alice Cooper gets killed by Bigfoot. That's pretty much all you need to know about this movie to make you want to watch it. (That's not a spoiler - it was in the commercial.)
All the little teen girls can have Zac Efron. Robert Pattison and Taylor Lautner do nothing for me either. Ryan Gosling...again, not interested. But when it comes to Channing Tatum, I do understand...there's something about him that makes me want to rip his picture out of magazines and plaster them all over my cubicle.
America - FUCK YEAH!
Seriously, why haven't we officially changed our national anthem to that song yet? I would much rather hear that song before every sports event than our current national anthem.
The SyFy Channel has really gone above and beyond this time. They've gone beyond having giant creatures fighting each other and they are now mixing giant creatures with natural disasters with Arachnoquake. Earthquakes bring gigantic spiders to New Orleans, nevermind that fact that the Gulf Coast isn't exactly know for tremors. A spider-inducing earthquake doesn't make any less sense that a hurricane full of spiders - why not Arachnocane? But I digress...
"It's filthy, but it's no Pink Flamingos."
That was my response when Sean told me that it was the filthiest movie he had ever seen - I had to remind him that back in 1997, I dragged him to go see the 25th anniversary re-release of Pink Flamingos. He then amended his statement to say that Superbad was the filthiest movie he has seen, outside of John Waters and Gregg Araki...I would tend to agree with him - Superbad is a filthy, filthy movie.
Finally! I finally got to see The Avengers. It wasn't how I wanted to see it - in 3D, but that hardly matters. Even under less than ideal circumstances - watching it on a six inch screen, while sitting on an airplane next to a sugared up four year old, ultimately taking 5 hours to finish the film - The Avengers still lived up to the hype.
We didn't intend to watch this movie. I was scrolling through the guide one Saturday night, looking for something to watch and I paused on Rubber long enough to read the description. (Killer tire? Seriously?) The picture-in-picture indeed showed a tire rolling through the desert, so I clicked over, curiosity killed the cat...
Piranhaconda may be one of the best portmanteau names for a man-eating creature (the best are Sharktopus, of course, and maybe Mansquito), but it sure as hell is NOT one of the best movies about a man-eating creature.
This movie was soooooooo boring. Michael Madsen is usually an un-boring actor, but his portrayal of a Professor hunting the elusive Hawaiian Piranhaconda was a snorefest. I gave zero fucks about WHY he was hunting for Piranhaconda eggs.
Why does Russell Brand have a career again?
Seriously, I don't get it - he's not all that funny. And when he is funny, it's so far over the line, that he's guilted into apologizing for it later. (His Jonas Brothers jokes, for example...) He should take a page from Ricky Gervais and Sacha Baron Cohen and not apologize for shit.