04
Jan
2013

Lake Placid: The Final Chapter

Posted by knobbygirl

Sure...they say it's the final chapter, but I don't believe them for a fucking second. How many Friday the 13th movies were made after the fourth and Final Chapter? (SEVEN...or eight if you count the recent reboot.) How many Puppet Master movies have been released after the supposed fifth and Final Chapter? (Six!) Even the seventh and most recent Saw film bore the Final Chapter label...so far they haven't put out another Saw, but we all know it's just a matter of time...

31
Dec
2012

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Posted by Logan

The hobit was a 5 star production. It was a kind of scary movie. But I loved it. I think you should go see it. Now don't get me wrong but the hobit is 60 years before Lord of the Rings. There are 3 wizards and their names are Sayramon, Gandalf and Rajagast. There are also 2 wizards that aren't in the movie that are blue. I don't know their names.

19
Dec
2012

The 12 Disasters of Christmas

Posted by knobbygirl

Of course, everyone knows that the world is ending in a few short days...on December 21, 2012. How do we know that it is ending? Because that's when the Mayan Calendar supposedly ends, so of course, that must be the absolute end of the world...as opposed to when they basically just ran out of room on their stone tablet. (In any case, if the Mayans were so good at predicting the future, how did they not see the Spaniards coming? Riddle me that, Batman!)

01
Dec
2012

Liz & Dick

Posted by knobbygirl

I'm just going to pile on to the rest of the fucking planet and say that Liz & Dick was one of shittiest movies I've ever seen. As a rule, Lifetime movies are shit, but they've hit a new low with Liz & Dick.

21
Nov
2012

Clue

Posted by knobbygirl

Clue...the original movie based on a board game.

We're back on track with family movie night and after scrolling through Netflix for half an hour, we switched to Amazon Prime, looking for Beastmaster, after suspecting that Conan the Destroyer might be a bit too violent. But before we found Beastmaster, we found Clue.

27
Oct
2012

Bigfoot

Posted by knobbygirl

I saw this movie so long ago, I don't even know where to start. Alice Cooper gets killed by Bigfoot. That's pretty much all you need to know about this movie to make you want to watch it. (That's not a spoiler - it was in the commercial.)

25
Oct
2012

21 Jump Street

Posted by knobbygirl

All the little teen girls can have Zac Efron. Robert Pattison and Taylor Lautner do nothing for me either. Ryan Gosling...again, not interested. But when it comes to Channing Tatum, I do understand...there's something about him that makes me want to rip his picture out of magazines and plaster them all over my cubicle.

12
Oct
2012

Arachnoquake

Posted by knobbygirl

The SyFy Channel has really gone above and beyond this time. They've gone beyond having giant creatures fighting each other and they are now mixing giant creatures with natural disasters with Arachnoquake. Earthquakes bring gigantic spiders to New Orleans, nevermind that fact that the Gulf Coast isn't exactly know for tremors. A spider-inducing earthquake doesn't make any less sense that a hurricane full of spiders - why not Arachnocane? But I digress...

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