26
Mar
2001

Never Too Young to Die

Posted by knobbygirl

Goddamn, this sucked.

This is a pointless, horrible film. John Stamos plays a high school gymnast, turned spy due to his father's murder. He is out to get his father's killer, Ragnar. Ragnar is a hermaphrodite played by none other than Gene Simmons. GENE SIMMONS! Ragnar looks like a cross between Divine, Cher and Frank N. Furter and likes to kill women by ramming his steel fingernail into their most private parts. Um, yeah...at least Gene sticks his famous tongue out a lot.

26
Mar
2001

Kissed

Posted by knobbygirl

The first intelligent film about necrophilia.

I remember when this film came out, there was a trailer for it before The Pink Flamingos re-release. I always wanted to go see it, but it was out of the Ciné before I could get around to seeing it. But thanks to the The Independent Film Channel, I got to see it at 4:00 in the morning...

27
Feb
2001

Hannibal

Posted by knobbygirl

Oh GOD, this movie pissed me off so much.

First off, I know it's useless to compare a film to its literary counterpart. I know. Trust me, I know...Everyone's first instinct is to point out the little differences and favorite parts that were cut out. It's to be expected when you turn a 1,000 page, hell, even a 300 hundred page book into a 90-120 minute film, something's got to go. But with Hannibal...they took away the entire meaning of the book!

24
Dec
2000

Mulholland Dr.

Posted by knobbygirl

Sometimes I start to think that David Lynch has quit making films and instead has decided to start fucking with our heads, just for his own amusement, but then all the pieces fall into place and I wonder how I ever could have doubted him.

I just got home from watching a free sneak preview at The Anjelika. I would have paid to see it - vintage Lynch.

11
Sep
2000

Nutty Professor II: The Klumps

Posted by knobbygirl

I am now stupider for having watched this.

Admittedly, I laughed my ass off while I was watching The Klumps, but I felt so bad about it afterwards. Any scene with the Klumps in it was hilarious - but any scene without them was just boring - especially the ones with Buddy Love. The Buddy Love character was decent in the first film - a real character - but Buddy Love was just a stupid charicature in this one...a very annoying one at that.

28
Aug
2000

Very Bad Things

Posted by knobbygirl

Fucking shit.

I have wanted to see this since it came out. My sister went and saw it and of course she told me about the hooker getting headstabbed with the towel hook. Every review mentioned it and I saw just that scene a few times while flipping channels. But I actually sat down and watched it last night and I was not prepared. The hooker's death was nothing compared to the rest of the weird ass shit that happened...

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