Blood Dolls

Year: 
1999
Rated: 
R
Genre: 
Horror, Killer Dolls
Director: 
Charles Band
Writer(s): 
Charles Band
Actor(s): 
Jack Maturin
Phil Fondacaro
Runtime: 
84
Rating: 
Two BOBs
Review: 

More crap from the writer of those weird ass Puppetmaster movies.

Actually, I am not sure why it wasn't called Puppetmaster 15 or Demonic Toys 9 - it had exactly the same plot....evil dolls, under the control of some freakass with a grudge against his mother/wife/women in general, go on a killing spree. This time, the deadly dolls are under the control of this weirdo with a really small head. Really small - like that shrunken head guy in Beetlejuice. He starts out with these two dolls - one looks like an evil pimp, complete with pimp hat, bell bottoms and platforms; the other one looks like an ogre from Warcraft II. (Oh shit, I am a dork.) He has a doll making machine and turns his Chinese lawyer into a doll as well, all S&M and shit. But after the first 20 minutes or so, he doesn't turn anyone else into a doll. What the hell? A complete waste...it would have been a lot funnier if he would have went around turning people into dolls left and right.

What's really strange about it was the fact that he had a girl band locked in a cage in his house and whenever he wanted them to play for him, he would have his pet midget (that same midget in all these crappy horror films) go electroshock them. He also has this weird preacher henchman, with a clown face...

The warning in front of the film promised brief nudity...it was brief all right. One of the chicks in the band flashes her tits - and that's it! What a letdown!

Is it obvious that I don't go to the movies anymore, I just sit around and watch cable?

"Play! Play number seven, you bitches!" - Hylas (Phil Fondacaro)