Liz & Dick

Lifetime Movie
Lloyd Kramer
Christopher Monger
Lindsay Lohan
Grant Bowler
Theresa Russell
David Hunt
Bruce Nozick

I'm just going to pile on to the rest of the fucking planet and say that Liz & Dick was one of shittiest movies I've ever seen. As a rule, Lifetime movies are shit, but they've hit a new low with Liz & Dick.

Lindsay Lohan is bearing most of the criticism for the atrociousness perpetrated by Liz & Dick and I won't disagree that her performance was flat, uninspired, one-note, lackluster...I could think of insulting adjectives all day. I suspect that she has never even seen an Elizabeth Taylor film. Even so, the material she had to work with was shit. Yes, she could have worked a little harder to put lipstick on that pig, but the script was horrendous. The film was inter-cut with ridiculous narrative vignettes of Liz and Dick sitting on a stage, reminiscing and explaining to the viewer what happened in the preceding scene. How stupid does the screenwriter think that the people who watch Lifetime movies are? Okay, maybe that's a fair assumption...but the cut scenes did not work AT ALL.

At the very least, I was hoping to see LiLo in a fat suit...nope. Richard Burton spent the last half of the film calling Liz "fat", yet there was no "fat" in sight. What a rip-off!

If my criticism sounds harsh, keep in mind just how low my standards are. I watch mostly SyFy Channel movies like Sharktopus and Pirahnaconda...and I STILL think Liz & Dick is shit.

"More...I want more..." - Elizabeth Taylor (Lindsay Lohan)