Liz & Dick

Year: 
2012
Genre: 
Lifetime Movie
Director: 
Lloyd Kramer
Writer(s): 
Christopher Monger
Actor(s): 
Lindsay Lohan
Grant Bowler
Theresa Russell
David Hunt
Bruce Nozick
Runtime: 
88
Rating: 
ZERO BOBs
Review: 

I'm just going to pile on to the rest of the fucking planet and say that Liz & Dick was one of shittiest movies I've ever seen. As a rule, Lifetime movies are shit, but they've hit a new low with Liz & Dick.

Lindsay Lohan is bearing most of the criticism for the atrociousness perpetrated by Liz & Dick and I won't disagree that her performance was flat, uninspired, one-note, lackluster...I could think of insulting adjectives all day. I suspect that she has never even seen an Elizabeth Taylor film. Even so, the material she had to work with was shit. Yes, she could have worked a little harder to put lipstick on that pig, but the script was horrendous. The film was inter-cut with ridiculous narrative vignettes of Liz and Dick sitting on a stage, reminiscing and explaining to the viewer what happened in the preceding scene. How stupid does the screenwriter think that the people who watch Lifetime movies are? Okay, maybe that's a fair assumption...but the cut scenes did not work AT ALL.

At the very least, I was hoping to see LiLo in a fat suit...nope. Richard Burton spent the last half of the film calling Liz "fat", yet there was no "fat" in sight. What a rip-off!

If my criticism sounds harsh, keep in mind just how low my standards are. I watch mostly SyFy Channel movies like Sharktopus and Pirahnaconda...and I STILL think Liz & Dick is shit.

"More...I want more..." - Elizabeth Taylor (Lindsay Lohan)