X-Men: First Class

Year: 
2011
Rated: 
PG-13
Genre: 
Comic Book Adaptation
Director: 
Matthew Vaughn
Writer(s): 
Ashley Miller
Zack Stentz
Jane Goldman
Matthew Vaughn
Actor(s): 
James McAvoy
Michael Fassbender
Kevin Bacon
Jennifer Lawrence
Rose Byrne
Runtime: 
132
Rating: 
Three BOBs
Review: 

Forget Wolverine, I totally have a crush on Magneto now.

Michael Fassbender hasn't even been on my radar until now. My movie watching has been sporadic at best - I haven't seen 300, or even Inglorious Basterds, although I've had both in my DVR at times. (I lost 300 when we moved a few years ago and lost Inglorious Basterds just last week when the hard drive on my DVR failed like a BOSS.) So my interest in those two films has been reignited...although there's still no chance in hell that I'm gonna sit through Band of Brothers. Professor Sean says I should watch Shame. After reading the description on IMdb, the answer is YES PLEASE!

While Michael Fassbender was a spectacular Magneto, James McAvoy was a just so-so Dr. X. He seemed far more interested in using his powers to get poontang, than saving the world. Also, not at ALL fuckable. I would get down with Patrick Stewart before I would even let James McAvoy rub my feet. He looks like one of those guys that cries after sex.

I wasn't sure that I would be able to enjoy an X-Men movie without Wolverine. My fears were unfounded - I still enjoyed it. It was definitely better than Last Stand and maybe even better than United. It had a very James Bond vibe...with just a touch of Austin Powers.

Back to Wolverine - I wasn't expecting his cameo. It was only 10 seconds, but it was the best 10 seconds in the film.

January Jones...boring, boring, boring.

Casting Kevin Bacon as the villain was a stroke of genius. Like Dick Clark, he's aging in reverse. How does he look younger now than he did in Stir of Echoes? Anyway, he was amazeballs.

So when's the next X-Men movie coming out? 2013 will give us The Wolverine - Wolverine travels to Japan and becomes a Samurai. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, that sounds either ridiculous or fucking awesome, not sure which. 2014 brings Deadpool (panty dropping time!) and a sequel to First Class...veddy interesting...

 

 

"Go fuck yourselves." - Wolverine (Hugh Jackman)