Underworld: Awakening

Year: 
2012
Rated: 
R
Genre: 
Vampires vs. Werewolves
Director: 
Måns Mårlind
Björn Stein
Writer(s): 
Len Wiseman
John Hlavin
J. Michael Straczynski
Allison Burnett
Actor(s): 
Kate Beckinsale
Stephen Rea
Michael Ealy
Theo James
India Eisley
Runtime: 
88
Rating: 
Three BOBs
Review: 

Is it sad that this is the best film that we could think of to see on 'date night'? Seriously, my husband and I hadn't seen a film in a theater together since The Dark Knight. We just don't get out much.

I previously complained that the first, second and third Underworld films were boring. Believe it or not, I wasn't bored at all through this one! BUT...and it's a big BUT...that's because this was also the first 3D film I've ever seen. (IMAX nature films at Moody Gardens don't really count. I know, I'm totally behind the times. I also still use an unupgraded iPhone 3GS and pay my bills with checks. I am a fucking dinosaur.) In any case, I was in total "Look! Pretty pictures!" mode. I was like fucking little kid, staring, slackjawed. I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't have enjoyed the film nearly as much if we had been sitting in a 2D theater.

I didn't know much about the plot going in, except that there was a three-way Vampire/Werewolf/Human conflict of some kind. Wait - isn't that also the plot of Twilight? Anyway, the entire plot of the film seemed to be crafted for the express purpose of NOT having Scott Speedman in the film. No complaints from me there, his character was sorta douchey. Too bad the film ended setting up a douchey sequel.

I had no idea that 3D movies have 3D trailers. It was sequel=tastic! They're making yet another Resident Evil sequel. Meh. I was shocked that Wrath of the Titans looks like it may be pretty cool, unlike the first one. The monsters actually look intimidating and Perseus has hair. I raised an eyebrow that the trailer music was Marilyn Manson. Then there was the trailer for the Ghost Rider sequel. Somehow I never saw the first one, but the sequel for that one looked pretty cool, too. The only trailer that wasn't a sequel was for The Cabin in the Woods, again with Marilyn Manson as the trailer music. When did Marilyn Manson become so socially acceptable? Anyway, the trailer makes the film to be a somewhat original horror film. Or maybe that's because I am remembering how original Cabin Fever was? In any case, they're all in 3D and I would be happy to sit through any of them...except maybe the Resident Evil one...

 

"My heart is not cold. It's broken." - Selene (Kate Beckinsale)