Tusk

January 29, 2016

This movie is so fucking weird and fucked up. Of course, it’s a horror movie….but it’s also a comedy…and it’s also a mindfuck. Tusk is like a new genre of movie – Mindfuck Fu.

The first Mindfuck is not so much the subject matter – it’s fucked up to be sure, but the real mindfuck is that it’s not sexual. Of course, we wanted the motivation to be sexual – but nope. The motivation was guilt.

The second Mindfuck is Justin Long’s mustache. That mustache is just appallingly gross. Even more than the fact that his character is an asshole, that mustache made me lose all sympathy for his character. He totally deserved what he got…because of that mustache. Even his ring tone was assholish – guess what my ring tone is right now…ANOTHER MARGARITA!

Johnny Depp…still fuckable, even with that nose.

And then there’s Michael Parks…if you thought he was scary in Red State , you will piss yourself in terror after watchiableng Tusk. He’s not so terrifying in real life…I was able to meet him at Texas Frightmare Weekend a few years ago. At first I thought him to to be lld muddled as to where he was, then I realized he was just shitfaced.

I’m looking forward to Smith’s new film, Yoga Hosers – the next film in his Great White North Trilogy. It will be interesting to see if Harley Quinn and Lily-Rose have enough charisma to carry the whole movie and become big Hollywood stars.