The Back Lot Murders

May 18, 2004

About what you’d expect from Corey Haim these days.

With Corey Haim as the top-billed star, you’d think that he would have been in it longer than ten minutes. Not that I’m complaining – I really didn’t need to see his scrawny, spikey-haired, has-been ass. That’s what VH-1 is for, after all – has-beens.

The biggest plot point, as evidenced in the title, is the fact that most of the movie takes place on the Universal Studios back lot. I didn’t really care that they were shooting their video on the actual set of The Lost World. Woopedy Doo. Likewise with the killing scenes that happened on the steps of Norman Bates’ house and the Old West Town. It wasn’t reflexive and edgy – it was contrived and lame.

Ordinarily, this would have been your run of the mill, one BOB film…but Charles Fleischer bumped it up a notch. I mean COME ON – he was Roger Rabbit! And he was in Demon Knight! Almost every single word out of his mouth had me rolling on the floor laughing. He even made my dad laugh, but then again, homosexuals usually do make him laugh. Charles played Henry, the very very gay video director. He had some of the funniest lines ever uttered by a fake video director to a band – “Do you have a spring up your ass? You’re bouncing up and down like a constipated hobby horse!” and “Are you making soup?” Okay, I guess it’s not as funny written – delivery is everything and Roger Rabbit delivers.

The only other recognizable “star” was Priscilla Barnes, best known as Terri, the 2nd replacement blonde on Three’s Company, but more recently infamous for flashing her tits (and 3rd nipple) in Mallrats. She was okay as the crazy talent agent, but what was up with the blue hair?

I was trying to tell my husband about this movie and he said, “Yeah, I’ve seen it.” That’s pretty much what he says about any movie I try to tell him about. Why do I even bother? He’s the one who should be writing for this site – he watches WAY more movies than I do – and worse ones too.