Star Wars: Episode III – The Revenge of the Sith

September 16, 2005

How does George Lucas expect me to watch this movie with a straight face, when he includes lines like, “Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo.”? Seriously, I was almost rolling around on the theater floor laughing after that horrid, horrid line. Who talks like that? Did his involvement with Howard the Duck give him brain damage?

I tried talking like that and it seriously pissed off my husband. I’m not sure he was so much pissed at the fact that I said it, as the fact of when I said it (in flagrante delicto) or the fact that I immediately broke down into hysterical giggling fit. Either way – not effective.

I was pretty bored throughout the first two thirds of the movie. I’m not sure if it was because it took us three months after opening weekend to see it or maybe it was just really boring? The movie seemed to get bogged down in the politics of the republic. Too much political back story was a recurring theme in the newest trilogy. When exactly did George Lucas turn into Frank Herbert? The draw of the original Star Wars wasn’t the complex political back story, but Luke’s mysterious origins and his journey to become a man. The new trilogy negates that mystery and very nearly negates Luke’s fulfillment of “the prophecy.”

There were some enjoyable moments in the film – the Wookiie planet, for one. And at least there was more Yoda ass-kickin’ and Samuel L. Jackson – as he stated in about 100 interviews – didn’t go out like a little bitch. And Darth Grievous was pretty bad-ass. He was the best villain since Darth Maul. I don’t have any complaints about the lava scene either – it was all I had ever hoped for and dreamed of. It was the most satisfying burning alive scene since Casey in Terror Firmer!

So, is it a coincidence that “Sith” is an anagram of a well known substance often found in toilets? The world may never know…