March 13, 2019

 

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Shhhhh, no one tell my kids that I watched this without them.

Will someone PLEASE explain to me what the concept behind this film is? I mean, I understand that the yard statues come to life and have little adventures and shit…but WHAT is Sherlock Gnomes? He doesn’t appear to be yard art, so is he an action figure? A leprechaun or something? I don’t understand why he is tasked with keeping track of London’s gnome population. I mean, I guess he is a gnome, too? But why?

I also don’t understand why Johnny Depp was cast as Sherlock Gnomes. Why do children need to be subjected to his lame fake British accent, when they could’ve just hired a British actor?

And what was the point of Mary J. Blige? Why?

The only part that truly made me smile was the scene in the Chinese knick knack shop, because I have most of the tchotchkes depicted there.

This was not a very good film, utterly lacking the heart of the original. The message was supposed to be about taking people for granted, but the message was too ham-handed for a child to really understand.

Year – 2018
Rating – PG
Runtime – 86 minutes
Genre – Yard Art
Director(s) – John Stevenson
Writer(s) – Ben Zazove
Actor(s) – James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Mary J. Blige, Johnny Depp, Mary J. Blige
BOB Rating – One BOB
Favorite Quote – "A man doesn't make you strong, but the right partner can make you stronger." - Juliet (Emily Blunt)