Shanghai Knights

February 25, 2003

I had a migraine when I left the theater – probably because I rolled my eyes so many times.

It sucked…but it was on the better end of suckdom. It didn’t suck as much as Spy Game, but it was still miles below Shanghai Noon in quality. I’ll be generous and give it 2 BOBs – one for Owen Wilson, because he kicks ass and one for Lord Rathbone. (I said BONE. Heh.) He had that whole John Cusack eyes, Christopher Walken hair, I’m a sexy British dude thing going for him. Unfortunately, I think this role just confirms the Queer as Folk typecasting that Aidan Gillen must already be experiencing. Lord Rathbone was a far more interesting villain than whoever was in the first one. I don’t even remember who the villain WAS in the first one – some chinese guy?

I am not usually one to complain about anachronisms – I can sit through the entire Back to the Future series without batting an eyelash – but the script was ridiculous. The film is set in 1887 – Charlie Chaplin wasn’t even born until 1889! The Sherlock Holmes thing was even lamer. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a doctor. Blah blah blah, artistic license, whatever. Having real people pop up occasionally was funny in the first one, but it became tedious and contrived in this one. I was disappointed when Pancho Villa and Charles Dickens didn’t show up.

The one saving grace was the Umbrella scene. It wasn’t overly original, so I give it a 6 in originality, but a perfect score of 10 in execution. I expect I’ll be taking my grandchildren to see Jackie Chan movies, just to see the latest in Wheelchair Fu.

Did Rush Hour 2 suck this much? If so, I’ll continue to ignore it.

I am so pissed that I paid full price to see this crap. Definitely wait until it comes on cable for free.