Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

September 13, 2014

Maybe I’m too snobby, but I wasn’t able to get into the movie because I was too distracted by the lack of continuity. In the opening submarine scene, Debbie Gibson’s fingernails are clearly bare…but in closeups of “her hands” operating the controls – the nails are black. Disgusting!

The Mega Shark is identified as an extinct prehistoric beast called a Megalodon. Ancient mariners feared a creature called a Kraken – traditionally depicted as a giant octopus. So why isn’t the film called Megalodon vs. Kraken? That would’ve been a much cooler name for this shitty movie…

Lorenzo Lamas and his sensitive ponytail didn’t show up until 45 minutes into the film. He kidnaps Debbie Gibson and her two scientist buddies to help contain the destructive creatures. I guess Mega Sharks eating entire airplanes in a single bite is enough to cause the military to start kidnapping scientists. But I don’t understand why he didn’t just ask them nicely?

The Megalodon and Kraken fight to the death in a lame CGI sequence. You can’t really tell what’s going on – just a lot of squeezing and biting. Lorenzo Lamas disappears (not really sure where he went – I don’t think he died) and the scientists live happily ever after…leaving the film open for a sequel.