Date Movie

December 31, 2006

This movie was not made for me.

It’s not that I don’t like spoofs or parodies – normally I do. It’s just that it’s hard to enjoy a parody of films you know nothing about. I know jackshit about chick flicks and rom coms. I intentionally avoid films starring Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock or Renee Zellweger – unless, of course, a chainsaw is involved. I’ve only seen three of the romantic comedies spoofed in Date Movie – Meet the Parents, Napoleon Dynamite and Say Anything. (Yes, I’ve seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but they are hardly romantic comedies, unless you’re counting the dirty gay hobbit sex.) There were plenty of gags to laugh at, but I suspect that some went right over my head, since I don’t have a clue about the source material.

Jinxers the cat, based on the toilet trained cat in Meet the Parents, was the star of the movie. Whether he was suffering from explosive diarrhea, gnawing on grandma’s corpse or making out with the cat lady, Jinxers was a scene-stealer. His star quality is sure to bring him oodles of film roles.

Alyson Hannigan was cute as the film’s heroine – not many ladies could have pulled off the goofy stunts that she was expected to take seriously. She seemed to enjoy getting sprayed in the face with hummus and having to wear a big latex fatsuit. I cry a single silent invisible tear every time an actor or actress dons a latex fat suit. Where is their dedication to their craft? Actors and actresses are quite thrilled to point out in interviews how they lost 25 pounds for a role or worked out for three months straight to get into shape…but the only ones willing to eat a bunch of donuts for a role are Renee Zellweger and Tom Hanks. (John Travolta doesn’t count – I don’t think he’s trying to look like that.)

Sophie Monk looks like an alien. Or maybe like one of those Bratz dolls after it’s been dipped in olive oil and put in the microwave.

At least Date Movie was mercifully short. I don’t actually recommend watching it on a date though – it probably won’t get you laid like Pretty Woman or When Harry Met Sally or Bridget Jones’ Diarrhea.