November 19, 2000
It didn’t suck as bad as I thought it would.
I never really liked the TV show. It just didn’t have the cheezy panache of say, Knight Rider or The A-Team, or even Manimal. I would rather watch 20 hours of Teletubbies than 20 minutes of Charlie’s Angels. Somehow though, I actually enjoyed the ‘new and improved, plus Calcium!’ version.
The one part of the film that made me laugh my ass off was the Soul Train scene. It was just so bizarre and strange, that I couldn’t help but laugh. Of course it was predictable that Cameron Diaz would be warmly accepted by the black community, but I would rather visualize what would happen in real life – that the silence would continue, she would keep on dancing obliviously, until some pimp daddy put a rhohyphnol in her Cape Cod and she is sold into white slavery…but I digress. Is Soul Train actually even still on? Probably is – even if Don Cornelius was on life support, they would still drag his ass on stage to get jiggy wit it.
I wonder if it was strange on the set, what with the backstory on Luke Wilson and Drew Barrymore – I think they were engaged at some point. Tom Greene is definitely a trade-down compared to Luke Wilson.
Is every single action film made AM (After The Matrix) going to have the same exact style of fighting. I swear – every single film made now has the same Matrix look and feel. I hope somebody comes up with something new – soon!
P.S. Lucy Liu can’t act, just thought I would let you know. After seeing the same exact performance in Payback and Shanghai Noon – I am now convinced that she should go back to her mundane TV existence and keep on tonguing Ally McBeal.
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 98 minutes
Genre – Remake
Director(s) – McG
Writer(s) – Ryan Rowe, Ed Solomon, John August
Actor(s) – Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Bill Murray, Crispin Glover
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "That's kickin' your ass!" - Dylan (Drew Barrymore)