Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

October 25, 2024

 

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I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

The long awaited sequel to Beetlejuice is here and it’s…fine, I guess. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t boring, but it just felt like it was missing…something. It’s almost like it wasn’t weird enough? Like…the world has moved on since 1988 and become so much weirder than Tim Burton’s mind.

Don’t get me wrong, there were several truly inspired weirdo moments and the possessed musical number was amazing. And the Soul Train was hilarious.

Catherine O’Hara steals the show as Delia. I was disappointed by Winona Ryder – she “acted” by furrowing her brow and looking confused the whole time. I guess that was the point, she was a broken woman…but I wanted to kick Lydia in the box so hard throughout the whole film. Ugh. Michael Keaton and Jenna Ortega were great though.

I knew Jeremy was up to no good as soon as I heard Sigur Ros. That’s school shooter music, right there. I said what I said.

I was left wondering why Monica Belluci’s character was crammed in there, with so many other things going on. I just figured that she was there to serve Tim Burton’s corset kink…until I realized that they are dating now. Oh. Well that explains that. He’s always got to give his muse a starring role.

Is it me, or did Baby Beetlejuice suspiciously resemble Baby Selwyn, from Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive? I’ll take that as fan service, not plagiarism…for now.

We only go to the movies once or twice a year, and I’m kind of bummed to have wasted $50 or so on seeing this in the theater. It’ll be on MAX in a week or so, I should be more patient.

Oh…and another thing. DO NOT try the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice “Haunted Apple” Fanta. It was DISGUSTING. My tongue felt “haunted” for hours.