Even though it's only February, I'm going to go ahead and call it - Sponge Out of Water is the most terrifying film of the...
The Lego Movie
Everything is awesome! Actually...the only thing about The Lego Movie that's not awesome is the song, "Everything is Awesome" - because that song has been...
Gnomeo & Juliet
You may not know this, but my backyard is full of garden gnomes. The pink flamingos are packed away in the garage, as the evil...
Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax
I didn't think that there could be a worse adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book than Horton Hears a Who! Oh, I was so wrong......
Toy Story 3
The first time I saw Toy Story 3, I totally started crying when Andy finally handed Woody over to Bonnie. Even now, roughly 537 viewings...
How to Train Your Dragon
I couldn't get past the accents. All the adult Vikings have Scottish accents, but Hiccup sounded plain, old American? Actually, ALL the Viking kids sounded...
Rango
Drugs. Watching Rango made me feel like I was on a large quantity of psychedelic drugs. I'm not just saying that because Raoul Duke and...
Shrek Forever After
I felt so uncomfortable watching the beginning of this film with my kids...what if they knew that I feel like Shrek sometimes? As far as...
Toy Story
Can you believe that I have never seen Toy Story before now? You CAN'T believe it? You think I'm fucking lying? Why would I lie...
G-Force
I will never, EVER, complain about The Squeakquel again. Compared to G-Force, The Squeakquel is like the Citizen Kane of CGI rodent shenanigans movies. Zach...