X-Men: Apocalypse

March 9, 2017

While I agree with Jean Grey that the third one’s always the worst, X-Men: Apocalypse isn’t a bad movie. It merely suffers in that it wasn’t as good as the first two. (I think we can all agree that Last Stand was much stinkier than Apocalypse ever dreamt of being.)

Sure, it was a bit preachy…but how can a movie with a villain that’s trying to be a God NOT be preachy? Even with all the good mutants vs. bad mutants drama, it was still less preachy than Batman v Superman. I was left scratching my head over Apocalypse’s motivation, though. What was he going to do with all that power once he had it. Just hang out with the 4 Horsemen while the planet smolders?

I am shook to the core that Poe Dameron played Apocalypse. I’d never even heard of Oscar Isaac’s before The Force Awakens, and BAM – he’s everywhere now. (Eventually, I’ll finish my review of Force and pontificate on the sex appeal of Poe Dameron.)

I wish I liked the actress picked for Jean Grey more. I don’t watch Game of Thrones, so I’ve never seen this girl before. She doesn’t have the presence and appeal of Famke Janssen…and I admit, I’m biased. I’ve been wanting to be her since Goldeneye. Even so, this girl just doesn’t seem to have much personality. I’m hoping she comes out of her shell, as I’m expecting another full X-Men trilogy over the next decade.

Even James McAvoy is growing on me as Professor X. I admit, I thought he was a pussy in First Class. But after his struggles in Future Passed , he’s grown up and found himself.

Again, the best scene in the film was the Quicksilver scene. Another amazing song choice and another eye-popping slow-motion scene. PLEASE, can we get a standalone Quicksilver film? Maybe a film centered around him getting the balls to confront his father? And throw in Nightcrawler, so he can confront his mother…let’s go full Maury. (Magneto or Azazel, which one is it???)

Speaking of Magneto, my poor son is fixated on the disconnect between how old Magneto and Professor X look and how old they should be. (He is SO MUCH my son.) He wants to know how this Magneto turns into Ian McKellen in just 17 years. It wasn’t that far off actually, McKellen was born in ’39, so was about 61 during the first film. Fassbender just turned 40 (’77), so let’s pretend he’s looking a bit younger in this movie than his character. To keep with the time line of WWII, Magneto was born in the mid to late 30s, which would necessitate him being in his late 40s – early 50s. I think my son might have been assuming that McKellen was older than his 60s…probably thought him to be in his 70s? The time line isn’t all that bad, although Moira is the one who looks far younger than she should…

Worth watching on HBO, I don’t feel bad for missing it in the theater. So much more excited about Logan after his brief cameo!