Dam Sharks

July 28, 2016

That’s not a typo folks…those damn sharks are building dams…out of damn human bodies.

I don’t even understand…how did sharks get into the river? How do they survive is freshwater – don’t sharks live in the ocean? Why are they building a dam out of corpses? I should know by now…the answers do not matter. Just the sharks matter.

Jason London is the sole “name” star in this shark story. As opposed to the protagonist role he played in Zombie Shark, London is the douchey antagonist – the CEO of a tech company, ridiculously taking his employees on a team building adventure. There were cheers across the living room, as he was chomped by the damn dam shark. (For those keeping score, Jason London was in Dazed and Confused, more recently know for shitting his pants in the back of a patrol car. His twin, Jeremy, was the one in Mallrats , more recently known for an appearance in Celwbrity Rehab and allegedly beating the shit out of his wife. It’s so hard to tell them apart!)

Dam Sharks is just one of the new shark movies that SyFy has unleashed for the week leading up to Sharknado 4. We’ve also watched Atomic Shark and Ice Sharks, plus reruns of old favorites like Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf (My daughter’s personal favorite), Zombie Shark, 3 Headed Shark Attack …basically all sharks, all the time on SyFy this week. If I don’t get around to reviewing all of them – I won’t – rest assured that Dam Sharks might be the least shitty one, despite having the most ridiculous premise.