Captain America: The First Avenger

August 30, 2012

I was excited to see that Captain America finally showed up on Netflix this month…if only because I might still have a chance to see The Avengers in the theater.

As irritating as Chris Evan was as the cocky Human Torch, he was only slightly less irritating as the not at all cocky Captain America. The cockiness was replaced by earnestness, which was fine in small doses, but started to get annoying by the end of the film. In any case, he does spend a lot of the time shirtless, so there’s that. (On a related note, it’s hard for me to take Chris Evans seriously when he’s shirtless. Not because he’s hot, but because I can’t help but picture him in a whipped cream bikini.)

By definition, Captain America is a jingoist superhero – he got his start fighting Nazis. I’ve got to give the filmmakers credit for attempting to make him slightly less jingoistic by making it clear that Red Skull is not your ordinary Nazi. They make it very clear that his interest in Eugenics is driven by powerlust and that he could give a fuck less about Jews. I also love that “Schmidt” has become the go-to name for German Villains. (See also X-Men: First Class.) If you know me personally, you’ll understand why.

All in all, it was an okay superhero film – but definitely my least favorite of the recent batch. We’ll get the sequel in 2014, but since it’s likely to be set in the present, how about Captain America protecting our country from the real danger – Republicans? He could start off as a top Republican’s bodyguard, but then he learns of a secret plot to poison the homosexual population with breastmilk and chicken sandwiches. Captain America must save our country from the evil within!