Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

March 22, 2008

This movie was really shitty. Definitely shittier than the first one.

Deuce Bigalow is tricked back into man-whoring, only this time, he’s not fucking his clients in Europe. This time around, his clients include another “huge bitch,” a lady with an erotic facial deformity, a hunchback, a woman with a voice box and a filthy hot chick, among others. Since his one legged wife was eaten by a shark, Deuce is back on the market. Lucky for him, he meets another exceedingly hot chick with a fatal flaw – she’s OCD. So basically, this is the same exact movie in a different setting – think National Lampoon’s European Vacation.

Having been to Amsterdam (Was it really ten years ago?), I was at least looking forward to Deuce visiting some places that I recognized from my trip. In a movie about man-whores, you’d think they could work in a visit to the Sex Museum, the Erotic Museum or the Casa Rosso? How about the Cannabis College or even the Torture Museum? Nope – none of those places were featured. (They did go to an Aquarium, but why the fuck would I have gone to an Aquarium in 1998? I hadn’t met my husband yet!) Deuce and T.J. did meet in a rather generic Coffeehouse (I went to LOTS of those), which was actually the funniest part of the film. Deuce eats a Space Cake and freaks out. (This scene is exactly why I wouldn’t fucking touch a Space Cake when I was in Amsterdam.) Oh well, at least there was a windmill.

Questions that I still have after watching Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo…Why would a man-whore get his anal hair bleached? Wouldn’t he just get it waxed off, like Deuce did in the first movie? Why is “Lavender Love #66” lipstick red? Are all those sex acts mentioned real? Mud Pretzel? Turkish snowcone? Irish Facial? Cambodian Creamscicle? And most importantly, how did Antoine die if he was able to dislodge whatever he was choking on? I loved Antoine!