As the end credits rolled, I stood up and surveyed the emptying theater and said, "What the fuck?" Then my husband said "What the fuck?" And my best friend said "What the fuck?" And her man said "Yeah, what the fuck?"

So did anyone else notice that Oz the Great and Powerful basically has the same plot as Army of Darkness? No? Just me?

Chupacabras...Erik Estrada...Texas landmarks...it's like the SyFy Channel is making movies just for me!

Oz the Great and Powerful opened last week, but we weren't able to fit it into our schedule...so we watched the next best thing - Flying Monkeys, courtesy of the SyFy Channel.

As a fan of Greek mythology, I found Wrath of the Titans to be even more annoying than Clash of the Titans. The writers were plagued by the same problem that annoyed me about that Hercules TV show - Demigods get 1 or 2 myths and that's it...so how do you make multiple movies about Perseus, who really only had one story?

"Apocalypse movies always have a weird way to save the world at the end. You can't just blow up a volcano." For a seven year old, my son is pretty smart.

I'll go ahead and throw him under the bus for picking this shitty movie out. I was scrolling through the guide and he demanded that I record it. Oh, what monster have I created?

Is it any wonder that when I got married, I had no bridesmaids, no bridal shower, and almost none of the normal shenanigans that accompany most weddings? (I DID have a bachelorette party, an amazing bacchanalian event that I barely remember, although I'm not quite sure if the faded memory is due to the ravages of time...or the massive amounts of illicit substances ingested therein. Seriously, my friends make Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms look like pussies.)

We had a difficult decision tonight...Zombies Vs. Strippers or The Tale of the Voodoo Prostitute. I know...how on earth did we choose?

Zombies Vs. Strippers is about a zombie invasion in a strip club, not to be confused with Zombie Strippers, a movie in which the strippers are actual zombies. Other than that, the films are pretty similar...titties and zombies, zombies and titties.

Sure...they say it's the final chapter, but I don't believe them for a fucking second. How many Friday the 13th movies were made after the fourth and Final Chapter? (SEVEN...or eight if you count the recent reboot.) How many Puppet Master movies have been released after the supposed fifth and Final Chapter? (Six!) Even the seventh and most recent Saw film bore the Final Chapter label...so far they haven't put out another Saw, but we all know it's just a matter of time...

I'm torn by this movie. Don't get me wrong, I liked it...but I don't know that it absolutely HAD to be made.