08
Mar
2017

X-Men: Apocalypse

Posted by knobbygirl

While I agree with Jean Grey that the third one's always the worst, X-Men: Apocalypse isn't a bad movie. It merely suffers in that it wasn't as good as the first two. (I think we can all agree that Last Stand was much stinkier than Apocalypse ever dreamt of being.)

28
Dec
2016

Divergent

Posted by knobbygirl

So, "Teen Dystopia" is its own genre now? Back when I was a teen, I was quite sure that "the man" was out to get me...by stamping out all free thought, individuality and creativity. Turns out, it was just my mom. I kid, I kid - she likely wasn't any worse than any other mother in the 90s. But that's the thing. Most (American) teenagers feel oppressed by school, home, work, society...by someone. (I parenthesize American because that's what I know...I'd like to assume that aboriginal teens are just as over dramatic, but...)

10
Dec
2016

Batman v Superman: The Dawn of Justice

Posted by knobbygirl

As the opening credits rolled, I couldn't stop laughing. Maggie and Negan as Bruce Wayne's parents was so stinking cute! My husband just rolled his eyes...he doesn't watch The Walking Dead.

I was a bit worried that not seeing Man of Steel would be a problem as I sat down to watch Batman v Superman, but it actually kind of helped. The film starts off with the events of Man of Steel from Bruce Wayne's point of view. "I don't care if you saved the whole goddamn planet, Superman - you knocked down my fucking building!"

27
Jul
2016

Dam Sharks

Posted by knobbygirl

That's not a typo folks...those damn sharks are building dams...out of damn human bodies.

I don't even understand...how did sharks get into the river? How do they survive is freshwater - don't sharks live in the ocean? Why are they building a dam out of corpses? I should know by now...the answers do not matter. Just the sharks matter.

23
May
2016

Zoombies

Posted by knobbygirl

Exactly what you fucking think it is. Zombie. Zoo. Animals. Thanks to The Asylum, for going where no film has gone before.

It starts when the capuchin monkeys come down with a nasty virus, turn into zomb-onkeys and go beserk. Of course, they escape and start zombifying the rest of the zoo population. Zombie giraffes tearing folks limb from limb should be horrifying, but I just couldn't stop laughing. The one truly horrifying "zoombie" was the Koala. Koalas are just so cute and so...chill. Zombie Koalas are NOT cute and definitely NOT chill.

14
May
2016

Getting Schooled

Posted by knobbygirl

The Breakfast Club meets Apocalypse Now - how's that for a fucking amazing tagline?

The people who brought us The Haunted Trailer were back at Frightmare with another locally made horror film. I was tentatively afraid that Getting Schooled would be a rehash of Haunted Trailer, but it was totally different in tone and content. Lucky Chucky is no one-trick pony. Yes, it's horror and yes, it's funny...but there wasn't a single fart joke in the whole film. Not even a church house squeaker.

25
Apr
2016

Ant-Man

Posted by knobbygirl

It's been like a zillion years since we've had a family movie night...I guess technically, it wasn't really a family movie night, since Lily wanted nothing to do with Ant-Man, instead barricading herself under her bed with Netflix and my cat.

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