17
Nov
2017

Hannibal Rising

Posted by knobbygirl

The only thing more gag inducing than sitting down to watch a movie that you know includes cannibalism is seeing 'The Weinstein Company' as the first slide in the opening credits.

13
Aug
2017

5 Headed Shark Attack

Posted by knobbygirl

In case you're wondering, there's no 4 Headed Shark Attack movie - the franchise skips straight from 3 Headed Shark Attack to 5 Headed Shark Attack. This kind of makes sense...because for the first half of the movie, the shark only has 4 heads...but for no discernable reason, the shark sprouts a 5th head out of its butt. Literally, the shark's 5th head is its butthole. You can't make this shit up.

08
Aug
2017

Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

Posted by knobbygirl

After destroying every landmark in America over the last four movies, the 5th Sharknado movie goes global, with the latest Sharknado erupting out of a cave beneath Stonehenge.

There's not much to the plot. The Sharknado came back and now it can teleport you to anywhere on the planet. Yup, it can pick you up in Switzerland and then drop you in Australia. Sure...why not? It's a great plot device.

05
Aug
2017

Trailer Park Shark

Posted by knobbygirl

That Tara Reid, she sure does have bad luck with sharks.

Tara Reid isn't the only C-list celeb on board. The REAL star is Thomas Ian Nicholas, coincidentally Tara Reid's boyfriend in American Pie. He's the asskicking trailer park dude, who fixes everything with duct tape. Also, we've got Mr. Belding (the principal from Saved by the Bell) as the evil land developer that orchestrates the levee explosion that leads to the shark invasion of the trailer park. Yeah...a shark (singular) invades a flooded trailer park. The shark also has electric powers like an eel. Okay....

14
Jul
2017

Wonder Woman

Posted by knobbygirl

I wanted to hate Wonder Woman. Everyone has unanimously loved this movie, so that ugly little bit of 20-something year old, still deep down inside of ME wanted to find something to hate about this movie. To be contrary, to be different...I couldn't do it. Wonder Woman is every bit as thrilling and enjoyable as the general public says it is. And I'm okay with that. It took me 40+ years, but I have found peace in agreeing with the rest of the planet. I can't even be mad about it - I've loved Wonder Woman for so, so long.

17
Apr
2017

Suicide Squad

Posted by knobbygirl

Since Suicide Squad debuted on HBO this past Saturday, so we had a family movie night and watched the whole thing while eating Marie Callender pot pies. Jealous?

Now my daughter wants us to dress up as the Suicide Squad for Halloween...and she wants to be Enchantress. I'm only saying no because that would mean that I would have to be Harley Quinn, and we saw enough fatties dressed as slutty clowns last Halloween.

27
Mar
2017

Leprechaun: Origins

Posted by knobbygirl

I should've turned off the TV when the first thing on the screen was "WWE Studios."

...but I didn't. I dutifully sat there, waiting for a single redeeming moment in this film, but all I was left with were questions.

1. I thought this was supposed to be related to the original Leprechaun series? As far as I can tell, there is no connection to original seies, other than the concept of a "killer leprechaun." I am guessing that it is intended as a complete reboot, with no mention of the original?

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